I was scheduled to work on Monday from 10-6 at Whole Foods. I was starting to be annoyed with being at work only because every one kept asking me why I hadn't given birth yet. I really wanted to have her, but I wasn't even due yet, so I wasn't sure why I kept getting that question over and over.
So there I was, on the floor, putting away vitamin after vitamin, getting more and more uncomfortable. I was talking to a coworker, Debbie, who told me she predicted I wouldn't have the baby till December 7th. "don't you put that voodoo on me, Debbie! Take it back!" I said. I asked her and Shaun if if was possible to take too much evening primrose oil, as I had recently upped my intake again. They weren't sure, so we all looked it up and you can't really overdose, you just might get stomach pains and loose stools from it. Either way, the recommended dose for softening the cervix by week 38/39 was 4000mg a day. Ok, I was fine. But that explained why I had been feeling nauseous the past couple days. Or was I feeling nauseous because labor was coming soon?...
My shift was coming into the last hour and Shaun was leaving for the night. Before he did, I said, "Shaun, I'm going to need you to pray that I go into labor tonight. Please. Just keep praying until you get a text from me that she's here." I then let out some sort of weird exhale moan of distress and impatience/discomfort and Debbie looked at me and said, "oh my gosh you MIGHT have her tonight! I just got chills!" I kind of laughed and probably said something like "I hope, but I doubt it."
And so it became 5:30 and I decided to go back and start my leave paperwork with the PBS office. (I had forgotten they leave at 5). But before wheeling my cart off the floor, I ran into our Vega rep, who stopped me to write off some free product for me. She borrowed my sharpie to sign off the bar code. "Cool, thanks so much!" I said as she handed me a tub of vanilla chai plant protein. In my head, I was thinking, I still have so much of this at home. I was ready to leave the floor when she asked, "Danny likes chocolate, right?" and wrote off another tub. "Wow, thank you..." I'm ready to leave again when she pulls out packets and bars and Starts writing on all of them and waiting for each signature to dry. I was getting antsy, as I had really wanted to leave and get started on paperwork and then go home on time. But here I was getting free stuff that Danny would really like, especially the chocolate coconut bars.
Then all of a sudden I felt a gush of fluid go into my pants and I exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, I think my water just broke!" she asked, "are you serious?" "yep! Um...gotta go. Thanks for all this." "wait, here's your sharpie!". I took it and tried to run off of the floor, pushing my cart at a very loud speed. I figured my pants probably look like I peed myself and I wanted to get to the bathroom. I wasn't sure what to do, and I was in disbelief since your water doesn't usually break until you've been in labor for a while. I also was fearing my water breaking because if I didn't go into labor within 24 hours, I would have to be induced due to my Strep B. ah! Great! What did I do now? Come on contractions!
So I ran-waddled into the bathroom and was followed by 5 people, Nadia & Debbie from my team, Lauren and Lani from grocery, and then my team leader, Vanessa. They all were making sure I was ok and asking me what I needed. Nadia brought me a new pair of leggings from the Threads for Thought back stock. Vanessa brought me three choices of pads and my purse. I called Danny to tell him what was happening. He was in disbelief. I also couldn't believe my water had broken on the sales floor, something we had been joking about for months.
Danny had been at his parents that afternoon where he was working on building a desk. He had worked the night before and still had not gone to sleep. He said he needed to shower., etc and I said I would meet him at home. "no! Don't drive!" said everyone. So we decided he would meet me at the store and we would drive home together to shower and take naps before labor started.
I called the midwife answering service once we got into the car as he stopped for gas, which we were out of. Once Shaina called me back, she told me she would meet us at the hospital at 10pm, and to call her if things progressed more quickly.
I felt badly that Danny hadn't slept all day, and now would possibly be up all night. I also was tired from working all day, since everything made me tired. But I had nothing on his state of exhaustion. I started getting contractions in the car, but they weren't painful. They were definitely different from the Braxton Hicks I had been having up until then. I was kind of confused. Isn't this supposed to hurt? They don't really. Do I have a really high pain tolerance or is this going to get a lot worse?
Danny was freaking out on the ride home. Maybe it was because he was so tired. He was driving like a crazy person and freaking out. I was really calm and had to tell him everything was okay and to be calm. It was cute.
So we went home, both showered, and we climbed into bed. I turned on a movie and Danny instantly fell asleep. I tried to sleep, but my contractions kept me awake. I timed them on a contraction app I had on my iPhone. The were coming anywhere from 2-5 minutes apart. Wait, why were they so close together if they aren't painful? I called my midwife again to ask if I should go into the hospital since that's what I was supposed to do when y contractions became regular. She told me she would meet me at the hospital at 10. Danny texted our parents that my water had broken and I texted a few friends and my parents too.
We gathered the last of our things, and our packed hospital bags and got in the car to go have a baby! It was surreal. And poor Danny had only napped for an hour or 2.
It was 9:08 when we left our apartment. We arrived at the hospital a bit before 9:30 and got an awesome parking spot. (Bonus of having a baby outside of normal business hours.). We walked in and turned right and headed for the elevator to the 2nd floor of the Clatanoff pavilion- labor and delivery land. We walked through the super secure double doors and told the front desk that I was in labor, and our midwife was meeting us there. I had to fill out a mini piece of yellow paper with my basic information. We then followed a nurse into a side room, our bags, lunch box, laptop, and pillows in tow.
I was a little confused as to what was happening. I thought we would get admitted to a room right away because I had to be there because of strep b. No one explained to me what was happening. The German nurse told me to put the hospital gown on. Danny asked me, "didn't you want to wear your own clothes?" I told him I did, but that I would just put that on for now. I left my tank top underneath even though I was burning up. They really crank the heat in there. The back tie was broken, so my butt was just out for show. Danny was uncomfortably sitting in a chair holding a million things. The nurse came back in and strapped me down to a monitor without narrating anything or telling me what was going on. I was so anxious for my midwife, Shaina to get there. I hadn't printed out my birth plan yet, because we had just finally gotten new cartridges. I figured Shaina knew everything I wanted and didn't want anyway. But I started to fear that I needed it for this crazy nurse. She told me she was going to check to see how dilated I was and I shot Danny a look of fright. I told her I didn't want to be checked yet, because I needed to have as few exams as possible. I let her swab me to check for amniotic fluid to make sure my water had broken. I had no doubt in my mind that my water had broken because it gushed out and then had continued to heavily leak for hours. But I appeased her and she took a test with a pH strip. It didn't turn blue like it was supposed to, so the fluid was going to have to be checked under a microscope.
Then Shaina arrived, thank God. She kind of treated the nurse a little funny, so it wasn't just me that was frustrated with her. They checked the fluid under a microscope and it still didn't show up as amniotic fluid, but that didn't mean it wasn't..(so why check? I had to be there anyway...) I knew my water had broken, so I wasn't really concerned with that. I was just waiting for my painful contractions to kick in. They weren't being picked up by the monitor yet, so they weren't very strong at all. Shaina checked my cervix and I was much more comfortable with letting her do so. Not physically comfortable, as getting your cervix fondled does not feel great. I was 2 cm. She asked me if I had a birth plan, and I said I didn't print it, but she pretty much knew it anyway. At the most basic level it was "as little medical intervention as possible". She then said "okay I'm only going to say this once and then never bring it up again...because you are in the hospital, you have the option of pain medicine. Okay, that's out of the way." then we were on our way to a delivery room.
I got admitted into a room and we could finally get comfortable. The room was quite large. We set our bags down and I had to get on the bed and get my first round of antibiotics for the Strep B. Our first nurse was nicknamed "Princess" because she only worked 4 hour shifts. She couldn't find a really good vein, so I had to get the port in my wrist. She was very nice, but left at 11pm. My next nurse's name was Chrissy and she was with me for the rest of the night. I had to be intermittently monitored once an hour for 20 minutes at a time. That involved being contained on the bed, one strap listening to the baby, and one strap monitoring my contractions. They had gotten strong enough to be picked up now. Hooray! Progress! I was no longer scared of having to be induced. My body was doing its job just fine! I was not a fan of the monitoring from the beginning. I lied on my side instead of my back in order to feel more comfortable and to not slow anything down. Ruby kept moving away from the monitor, so the 20 minutes had to start over again a few times. I was getting more and more uncomfortable having to lie there. Finally, the monitoring was done for that hour and I could get up. Hallelujah! I walked around and sat on the birthing ball and rotated my hips around on it. I did some pelvic tilts on my hands and knees. Before I knew it, Chrissy was back again to monitor me. Back to the table I went. Yuck. :(
In between, I continued to squat, stretch, breathe deeply, and try to relax between contractions. The pain was getting so bad that my legs would shake out of my control. I tried to focus my breath to relax, but it wasn't working. I was overwhelmed with the desire to empty my intestines. I made several trips to the bathroom inside our room. Each contraction emptied me out more and more until I really was out of material. I was in real, serious pain by now. I had to lean on Danny through some of them and would squat up and down. I leaned on the bathroom sink so I was in a table position and moaned and breathed my way through the contraction.
Chrissy came back in to monitor me again, and she could tell I just couldn't lie still anymore, so she followed me around with the monitor as I got on my hands and knees on the table, and whatever else made me feel a little bit more comfortable or deal with the pain. We turned my iPod on shuffle, since all the songs I had put on it were soothing or at least not disturbing.
I did a lot of different positions inspired from yoga poses that helped open up my hips and stretch them and my back. I was constantly moving from one to another because it was the only way for me to handle it. Danny was right there with me, literally supporting my weight some times and also massaging my back and shoulder and hips and legs. The poor guy was so tired and he was getting a workout of his own. He was a wonderful coach.
I eventually lost the hospital gown and just wore my tank top. Danny was surprised how immodest i was around the nurse and midwife, but i just didnt care. I needed freedom and relief from heat. I also drank a crazy amount of water during the labor. That was mostly because my throat was getting so dry from all the vocal breathing and eventually screaming. I also needed it because it truly is an athletic event. I wonder how much I had. It would have been interesting to keep track. (obviously that was the last thing on my mind at the time.)
I was very thankful for the birthing ball. I sat on it during contractions and did pelvic circles and stretched forward and leaned on the table and backward and leaned/flailed on Danny.
Shaina stayed in the room for the rest of the time and she was very helpful in coaching as well. She helped me visualize that each cleansing breath was not only helping the pain and helping me relax, but was actually bringing the baby down. This was very helpful for me. As long as I was progressing, I felt like I could do this.
Danny eventually asked to take a 10 minute nap on the couch that turned into a bed. We told him he could sleep for longer. He woke up to his alarm in 10 minutes and then decided to Go back to sleep for 10 or 20 more. I felt so badly that he was running on no sleep. Shaina massaged my lower back and helped me while Danny was sleeping, and then he was back in the game. Both of them helped a lot and since I was moving around all over the place, one of them was always near me. I left the heavy lifting for Danny. Literally- he had to hold me up at some points.
The pain continued to increase. I didn't think it was possible to have more pain. It was. I started getting more animalistic with my breathing, and mentally, I started feeling like I wanted to give up. From all our reading, what I was feeling sounded like "transition", but I was afraid I was just a wimp and I wasn't there yet. Shaina wanted to check to see how dilated I was and I didn't really want to know. Because, if I was only like 5 or 6 cm, I just didn't think I could get through more. I was exhausted and in so much pain. Danny and shaina finally talked me into getting checked. 8cm! Hallelujah! I wasn't a wimp! I said "I can't do this" one or 2 times and they got excited, because that means the worst is almost over. In my head, I was thinking I should just get a c-section! But I don't want one! But I'm so done! I can never have another kid. It's just too painful. I wanted 4, but now I will just have 1, because I can't do this again.
The contractions were so intense and wore me out so much that I actually fell asleep between a couple. I didn't realize it until I woke up with another. Danny had to go to the bathroom, so he asked me if it was ok if he left the room for a second. He used the one down the hall instead of in our room, and when he returned, the scenery had changed.
I jolted awake from an in between contraction nap where I was sitting on the ball, but passed out leaning on the bed with my arms splayed in all directions. I was overwhelmed with the urge to push, so I exclaimed just that. "oh my gosh, I have to push!!!" they wheeled in a table with surgical tools and a bin and another nurse or two came in. It was almost 7am (which I didn't know), so a shift change was about to happen, but my nurse stayed anyway. I was in a different kind of pain than before. Shaina said most 1st time moms push for an hour or more. "WHAT?" I shouted. I couldn't do this for another hour! I thought I was almost done! That little fact made me so determined to get the baby OUT! With every urge, I pushed and then I would run out of steam, but still had to keep pushing. Shaina was massaging my perineum with oil, which was kind of distracting, because it didn't feel good, but it was necessary I guess.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of grabbing onto the top of the bed for dear life while I was in child's pose, pushing, they said she was getting closer and closer and asked me what position I wanted to deliver the baby in. I switched to my hands and knees, but the IV in my wrist made it uncomfortable to bend my wrist back. So then I got on my side and they told me I would have to grab my leg and pull it up as I was delivering. I stayed for one push, but wasn't a fan, so I squatted. That was the most comfortable for me. Each push felt like the last that I would be able to handle. It really hurt, and I felt like I wasn't making progress, but they told me I was. I said that I was hurting my voice from the screaming through the pushing and they laughed because that's the last thing I should be worrying about I suppose. I was really screaming. Seriously, the pain is unlike anything else.
They soon told me that they could see the head. Oh my gosh! I asked if they could just pull her out now. Unfortunately, they wouldn't pull her out until I pushed out the head and shoulders. Okay, I could do this...right? I was making progress and that's what mattered to me. Just a little bit longer and I'd get to hold my baby and I'd be done with this pain. My background as an athlete was helpful. I wanted to win this baby delivering thing. And so, I pushed. I pushed longer than I thought I could and as soon as her head was out, I got a rush. They asked me if I wanted to feel her head. No! Not until she's out. I only want to feel her when I'm done with this. One more crazy push later, and out came her shoulders and they delivered her. I only pushed for 15 minutes!
I cannot fully explain the feeling of knowing my baby was born. I was so excited! I immediately got to hold her and all the pain and exhaustion melted away. Oxytocin is called the love hormone for a reason. It overwhelms your body when you don't have pitocin and an epidural in the way to distract it. I was so high on it. I had waited 10 months to hold this little one and I finally got to! It was amazing. Danny quick grabbed the phone to document my happiness and our daughter's first look at the world. Now, I knew I could do this again, contrary to my earlier feelings during the pain. It was worth it. I could do it 3 more times. :)They asked Danny if he wanted to cut the cord. He did not. Then they asked me. I did not. I had to deliver the placenta and she pressed on my uterus (barf) and said, "nope, it's not ready yet.". I was able to breast feed right away and she instantly latched. Yeah girl! After she was done, I watched from my bed as they took her to be weighed and measured and checked. They made her foot prints. So cute! Danny was right next to her while all this was going on. I couldn't believe it. We had a family. It was so surreal.
Now my placenta was ready to be delivered. It doesn't hurt. It is uncomfortable because they press on your uterus, which is nauseating, but nothing even close to delivering the baby. I was very interested to look at it. Some people keep it and plant trees and some people make soup or vitamins out of it. Yeah, no thanks, I was content to just look. She explained to me the different parts of it. It really was very interesting. Danny did not care for it. I was surprised how big it was! It housed her, so it has to be at least her size. Pretty cool.
The nurses wrote the measurement details, etc on a little white board on the wall. She was born at 7:11am (it was 7:11 already??) and she weighed 7 pounds, 11.6 ounces and she was 20 inches long. I was glad that she was a good, healthy size, but not huge like both Danny and I were. 
It was so thrilling to just stare at her. I was instantly in love. I had to get 2 stitches for a very small tear on the side. My perineum did not tear at all- hooray! I'm a wimp when it comes to stitches, but it was over with very quickly and at least I was holding my precious baby.
Shaina told me i was able to have either Ibuprofen or Purcocet, and that she recommend Ibuprofen. Yeah, that was fine. I did not want a narcotic. The pain wasn't that bad.
Chrissy and Shaina could finally leave so we thanked them and we were left in the care of another nurse. She was lovely. I got some orange juice, some ibuprofen, some more water, and some breakfast, and I could finally just relax.
I didn't sleep the whole next day. I was too obsessed with staring at Ruby, and we had a lot of visitors. They were all so excited to meet and hold her.
So all in all, it was an amazing experience. It was very positive and memorable. I can't imagine not having a natural delivery. I hope my story can be an inspiration to other women who want to have a natural pregnancy and birth. It can be done! Our bodies were designed to do it!
If you'd like more information, or have any questions, please comment or send me a message and I'd be happy to answer or talk with you. Thank you for reading!
~39 weeks, 5 days~
<3
