uh...

so, my husband, Danny, and I have been together since 2007.  we've been through a lot together- college, an economic downturn, job experiments, natural disasters, world traveling, etc.  we finally got married in September 2011- a year and a half after we were officially engaged.  (we'd known since my sophomore year of college we would be married, but it took a while).  we're thankful for all the time we've had together and maybe it's a good thing that it took almost 5 years for us to get married, because 6 months into our marriage- we got this little surprise...

yes, after weeks of wondering, and a good half an hour in the target aisle trying to decide which pregnancy test to take, we got this digital message loud and clear.  5 different times.  (oh, yes, i bought the big box).  i couldn't believe it.  what the heck?  it takes so many people a year or more to conceive.  i feel like i'm always hearing stories about the difficulties of getting pregnant.  and yet, we got pregnant on accident?  some people say, "it's never an accident, because subconsciously you must have wanted a baby."  i don't know if i agree....hmmm...  i mean, i've always wanted kids, i just thought i would be a few years older when i started popping them out.  26 seemed to be the golden age.  Danny would be 30 then, and we'd have time to have a few before anyone got too old.  but, 24 is the age i'll be when i deliver.  oh man.

so as i'm sitting in the bathroom freaking out, Danny came in smiling, not showing his fear; he was excited.  that was helpful for me.  i've definitely been the more negative one, as he's been positive, motivated and happy.  i honestly think my negative attitude comes from the fear of judgement.  i don't know why i'm worried about that, considering i usually don't care what others think about me.  but i kept thinking that everyone would say "oh my gosh, she's too young.  what an idiot.  she is so old fashioned getting married young and then pregnant right away.  she's ruining her life."  i don't agree with any of those things, so i don't know why i'm worried about random people who might say that.  yes, i'm talented, and yes, i could be successful in my career- but i don't really have an expiration date on singing.  i won't hit my peak in my operatic voice for 7-15 more years anyway.  that's a long time.

this wasn't the opportune time to get pregnant, and here's why...
#1. we are still in debt
#2. we work at Whole Foods and make $11-12 an hour, so we need both incomes.
#3. we live at Danny's parents' house (so that we could pay off debt more quickly)
#4. we both want to go back to school...

i don't worry that we've only been married for 8 months, because our relationship is very strong, and we're constantly cultivating it.  we met when i was 17 and Danny was 21, for goodness sakes.  our strength is in the Lord and each other.  A baby will be stressful, I'm sure, but we've dealt with plenty of that along the way.  there's no way we can be totally prepared for a baby...we've never had one...but as long as God is the center of our relationship, we value each other over the baby, and our home never becomes kid-centered, we'll be fine.

so we're moving out in 2 weeks, putting ourselves on a stricter budget, and praying for the best.

so far my main symptoms are extreme fatigue (i sleep all of the time), and NAUSEA!  oh my gosh, i never thought my stomach could feel this gross.  thankfully, nothing liquid is coming back up.  it just feels awful, and i hiccup a lot.  i don't like chocolate very much any more, and i suddenly enjoy olives.  maybe i should name the baby Oliver ;)  i was a vegetarian until pregnancy.  and now- even though i don't really want to be eating meat, i feel like i should listen to my body when it tells me it wants something.  i'm not sure if that's an accurate thing to follow- but so far, i've eaten way more meat than i have in a long time.  i was craving salami sandwiches like crazy the first couple weeks- salami??  this was before i had taken a test.  now i hear, you're not supposed to eat deli meat.  whoops.  it's been difficult for me to eat the normal amount of vegetables that i used to, but i'm still able to eat a good amount of fruit- only sometimes it hurts on an empty stomach.  strange happenings...


so here are the details:
-Due Date: November 29. 2012
-the Chinese gender predictor says it will be a boy ;)  haha, but we'll see
-we've heard the heartbeat and seen a 7 week ultrasound...here it is...a tiny sweet pea...>>
-my next appointment is in 4 days, and hopefully we'll have a print out of the 12 week ultrasound, which will look a lot more like a baby.








~11 weeks, 3 days till baby~